It’s Lunar New Year Eve, (Happy CNY people!) and it’s one of the many eves to be coming my way. Hi guys, I’m back! Like finally huh?
Well, I had to write something in January to add January 2012 to my archives. Hahs. But yeah, January is coming to a close really soon, and February is on its way. How can I not pen down something at this juncture eh? 250212 beckons!
Before I dive straight into the obvious (ORD), I think it will be nice to talk about what happened over the past month or so.
So where do I begin?
Well, for one, all the major things left to do (army wise) is finally over and done. All the exercises, evaluation exercises, close combat training, conversion courses, live firing and what not, even the long dreaded move to the new bunks, we’ve come thus far people! We’ve come thus far!
You know, for the past 20 months or so, I’ve been looking forward to my liberation. And now that it’s so close, within reach and grasp, it feels strangely over rated. I’m not jumping with joy or overflowing with anticipation. In fact, there’s this looming dread that I’ll feel lost without a sense of purpose in my life post ORD; but I digress.
December saw me making a short trip to Malaysia with close friends, and it was a welcomed change of pace. It’s nice spending time with your army friends out of camp. But I crave a real holiday! One that puts me in the airport. Post ORD trip guys?!
And just like that, January marched forth, and it was back to getting our gears cranking and running again. But who was expecting January to be so busy and jammed packed with activities?! Heck, there’s still hell lot to do in February too. I certainly wasn’t expecting any of this when I pictured myself with just a month to go before ORDing. But Bravo will always be Bravo. Heh.
It was nice to meet up with old friends though, in the midst of the hustle and bustle. The 403 gang and the S01 guys; it felt so comfortable and so easy. It was great meeting up and catching up. Makes you think about what you’ll be doing in the months to come too. University, jobs, scholarships, school, life. And what’s a meet up void of talk of the good old days? The days in Nan Hua and NJ; teachers, friends. I’ll bet in a few more years, I’ll find myself seating in a coffee shop with my army buddies reminiscing our days in Bravo.
And how can I forget about my friends who are turning 21 left and right? The parties I’ve been too; we really are becoming grown ups; whether we like it or not and regardless of how we behave. We are all maturing. That in itself is both wildly exciting and disconcerting. I shudder to think when it’s my turn to turn 21. I still remember talking about the Big 2 like it was yesterday, and over here too with Miss Sunnyday. Do you remember? Time flies.
I think now that everything seem to be settling down, I see things with greater clarity. And as I reflect over the past year, I think the single most upsetting (ironically)for me, was and probably still is UCAS. Ironic how it has absolutely nothing to do with army despite all the hardships we have to go through huh?
Where do I start?
I guess the motive for my application was entirely for the wrong reasons to begin with. It wasn’t so much as wanting to study in the UK as it was not wanting to look back and regret not applying. And with a mindset like that, I suppose half the race was already lost. Not that I don’t crave being in a foreign country. But studying in a foreign country? I think I never did give it a serious thought. I suppose somewhere at the back of my head, I knew there’s probably little to no chance that I’ll find myself studying overseas. I certainly wasn’t going to be able to afford it; and it did not help one bit that I had a place in NUS. The desperation and desire that was present when I first applied to the Local Universities were patently missing this time round. I mean sure, I can appreciate the quality of teaching and environment in these foreign colleges that I’ve applied to, but somewhere down the line, I got more wrapped up with the idea of living alone, overseas, in a foreign land than actually wanting to study there. And I suppose that’s why I didn’t take my LNAT as seriously as I should have. I certainly wasn’t putting my game face on.
And this makes me sad. It’s almost like slapping yourself on the face. There ought to be a lesson to be learnt from it all. But I’ve yet to figure out what that might be.
So as I find myself in the last league of my race to ORD, here’s a toast; a toast to a wonderful year ahead, a year with excitement and fun, a year of accomplishments and success, a year of new friends and acquaintances.
Till next time.
Welcome back!!!!!!!!!
Yea, the biggest 2 ever coming this year, accelerating our way. It’s now near enough that a sad smiley face cannot be used anymore! Just gotta deal with it like a real person would! (pretending not to hyperventilate)